You may be a cartoon villain if…

April 13, 2016

The other day my kids made me watch Descendants. I’m a fan of the fractured fairy tale, so I liked the premise: a generation after all the fairy tale villains have been banished, the new king invites their children to return to the kingdom, where they must decide for themselves whether to integrate into society or play to type. Unfortunately, the execution was everything one could have hoped from a made-for-TV Disney movie, complete with a live action “hip hop” cover of “Be Our Guest.” Despite my best efforts to follow the family rule of “no complaining when it’s not your turn to pick the movie,” I couldn’t resist giving it a bit of the MST3K treatment. Apparently, I cackle when I crack myself up, which resulted in my being compared to the Evil Queen. Which got me thinking…

You may be a villain if

You cackle. Derisively.
Bunny rabbits and cherry blossoms have you breaking out the inhaler, but you don’t have any problem with cats. Or mold.
You say “Aah,” I say “Ah-choo”
You’ve considered moving your lair workspace into the basement because the sound of children’s playful laughter outside your window is so grating.
People look at you funny whenever you say what you really think.
They look at you funny whenever you dress up, too. So maybe you’ll just go ahead and rock that cape and turban look you’ve always secretly wanted to try. . .