It sounds good to call what I do “freelance.” But it really means that when there’s no work there’s no money. Today started out like any other day. There was no work, so the urge was to pose as a normal housewife. If I’m not bringing home bacon, I might as well clean out the fridge. I thought, “Since the refrigerator is almost empty, I should wipe down the shelves.” I was going to the worst place in the world and I didn’t even know it yet … the horror. The horror.