Pandemic Parties and Academic Neglect

When we first found out the schools wouldn’t reopen this year, I remember wondering if we would just keep homeschooling through the summer to make up for the inefficiency of distance learning. The state eventually decided to offer summer school as a remedial option. But by that time, I couldn’t wait for summer break. With only two weeks in the school year, we were seriously running out of homeschool steam, and instead of academics, my biggest concern was throwing a socially distant sweet sixteen birthday party.

What’s the Difference?

There’s a line in a Primus song that goes:

Funny thing about weekends when you’re unemployed. They don’t mean so much except you get to hang out with your working friends.

Primus, Frizzle Fry “Spaghetti Western”

Because the kids haven’t left the house since March, I didn’t think there would be much difference between summer break and distance learning. But school at home turned out to be a lot of work, for me and for the kids. And we were feeling just about done by the first week in June.

My paying work load had dropped off as I spent more time prepping supplementary assignments and assisting with geometry problems than pitching new stories. But things started picking back up in May, and a quick turn assignment at the beginning of June suddenly had me facing four deadlines in one week. That’s not unheard of for me, but it usually happens when I have six or more uninterrupted hours at my desk every day.

Benign Academic Neglect

I put together a schedule for my fifth-grader’s week (the high schooler had taken over her own scheduling weeks ago) and then locked myself in my dungeon office. I made all my deadlines by the weekend. But I did not swing through the kitchen every hour or so to make sure the kids were on task. I rudely shoo’ed my teen out of my office when she came in with math questions “Go ask your dad, he’s got a physics degree!” And I never did find out if my fifth grader turned in her homework that week.

They’re pretty good kids, and we’ve been at this long enough that they know the drill. So I’ll just have to take it on faith that they did their work, turned it in, and learned something.

Sweet Sixteen

It is well established that I am not a sentimental person. And I think most pop culture traditions are a capitalist excuse to sell stuff. I don’t remember anything about my 16^th birthday – probably because I didn’t do anything special. I remember being slightly relieved when as a kid, I finally got old enough that birthday parties weren’t a requirement anymore.

But my daughter has missed out on a lot this year. She wouldn’t be able to get her driver’s license on her birthday, since the DMV was still closed. And she really misses her friends. Her younger sister has had a few “10-foot playdates.” But my teen is a hugger and thought it would be too frustrating to see her friends from 10-feet away. She hadn’t seen any of her friends in person since March 10.

Pandemic Party

When King County entered Phase 1 of reopening, the tentative schedule would have had us entering Phase 2 two days before my daughter’s 16^th birthday. In Phase 2, you could have small gatherings of up to five people outside your household. We decided to gamble on an outdoor birthday party the weekend after her birthday.

My fifth grader made a birthday banner for my teen’s bedroom. She and her dad made a copy of bakery cake my teen always orders – green tea cake with cream frosting and fresh mango. In keeping with the “sweet” theme, they also made bubble tea to order – green tea, mango, or taro root. And we bought individual snack packs of chips and other junk food. One guest abstained from the treats, as not touching anything – especially homemade food – was a parental condition of being allowed to attend.

Of course, June 1 rolled around and we were nowhere near Phase 2. But we decided to honor the longstanding tradition of wild and risky teen parties and have some friends over anyway.

On the day of the party, three friends came over and took seats spread out across the back yard. They wore masks until the food was served. We put a candle on my daughter’s cake and sang Happy Birthday. The wind blew the candle out before we finished. Except for when we sang, the adults stayed out of the yard, and the kids stayed out of the house the whole time. They played a round of charades, but mostly just sat around and talked.

It wasn’t the safest possible birthday party (that would have been a Zoom call). And it was a far cry from the sweet sixteen parties of generations past. But it meant a lot to my daughter.

{A Note on Collage Images}

I found the black and white photo depicting a 50s party game on a Pinterest board by a woman named Nancy Wallace. I don’t use Pinterest much and could not figure out how to contact her to ask if the photo was hers or for permission to reprint it. But it was perfect so I used it. Is that wrong?

I found the photo of the 80s party on the TV Tropes website. It appears to be a screen shot from a British TV show called Skins. It is also the top image search result for “wild 80s teen party.” The final photo is from my daughter’s socially distant sweet sixteen party.