Category Archive Family

ByGD

Harshmellow: Seattle Traffic

I exited McCaw Hall with my arm around my daughter’s shoulders. It was one of those gorgeous, golden autumn days that make you forget the grey of winter is even possible. We had just watched the first rep of the season at Pacific Northwest Ballet, and it was a good one. The three pieces artfully danced back and forth across the line between abstract and narrative ballet. My daughter made some observations that justified dragging her to fine art performances at a young age and made me glow with pride.

Driving over Queen Anne hill I glanced in the rearview mirror and was almost blinded by the sunlight dancing on the water of Puget Sound. Dahlias bloomed in the yards we drove past, red and yellow leaves dropping from the trees above onto their brightly colored petals.

I pulled up to the light at Nickerson. The digital sign above the intersection read

193_Fremont_Bridge_UDNBI

I remembered how I used to love waiting for drawbridges. I lived in a city with drawbridges!

The light changed, but there was nowhere to go. Nickerson St. was backed up to the intersection. A cyclist shouted at me as he rode past my window, “It’s green!”

The shiny SUV behind me honked. One would think a driver that far off the ground would be able to see past me to the blocked traffic ahead. They honked again. I resisted the urge to shoot forward and block the intersection. Drivers on the other road had done nothing to me, so why should I inconvenience them instead of the jerk behind me. I flipped them off instead.

Nickerson cleared out as soon as the light turned red, and I spent a light cycle staring at an empty street, with a row of SUVs waiting behind me.

I’m not so sensitive that a biking beardo and a bitch in an SUV would ruin my day. But the mellow was harshed.

ByGD

Pay to Play

ratt11Or, What I Did on My Summer Vacation.

Remember the ’80s, when bands had to pay clubs to play? As a woman, and as a writer, I think about that a lot.

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ByGD

Perfectly Safe

In the white, liberal, upper middle-class circles I usually inhabit, safety trumps all other values. Helicopter parenting has become the standard for responsible parenting, despite data to the contrary. Schools and parents are increasingly making decisions based on the fear of lawsuits or the fear of disapproval from more safety-conscious parents instead of their own best judgement. So this quote from Neil Gaiman’s The Graveyard Book struck me as particularly meaningful.

“I wanted to keep you perfectly safe,” said Silas. “But there is only one perfectly safe place for your kind and you will not reach it until all your adventures are over and none of them matter anymore.”

We should not seek perfect safety for our children, or for anyone we care about.

ByGD

Summer of Silence

Dancing with Adra Boo onstage at Ra Scion's 2014 Doe Bay Fest set.

Dancing with Adra Boo onstage at Ra Scion’s 2014 Doe Bay Fest set.

Last summer was all about the festival. I walked down the street to the Fremont Solstice Fair, traveled to a remote fjord in Iceland for Eistnaflug, to a remote island in the Strait of Juan de Fuca for Doe Bay Fest, and rode the bus to Bumbershoot, dragging my kids along to three out of four. When I left my day job, I knew that one of the sacrifices I would have to make, at least initially, was live music. There was no justifying the cost of tickets plus babysitter, especially when I am sometimes paid to cover shows. I would have to limit myself to work-related concerts.

As a result, I stopped following the concert calendars, which resulted in my missing many new releases as well. It’s just easier to miss shows you don’t know about. Then the kids were off for summer vacation, and it’s hard to seriously listen to new music with kids running around, so for the past couple months, I just let music go. During Solstice I hung out at the block party, but didn’t catch any shows; I followed Eistnaflug wistfully on Twitter, and plugged my ears at any mention of Doe Bay. Timber was supposed to be my Doe Bay consolation prize, but the dates conflicted with a family event.

At least I could count on Bumbershoot, I thought.

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ByGD

Bunny Fear

IMG_20150721_205716582No other animal had ever inspired in me so much fear; not the neighbor’s dog that chased me into the house when I was three; not the horse that threw me, blackening both my kindergarten eyes; not the hand-sized spider that crawled up my leg when I was turned the neglected compost pile behind my house. None of those creatures held the terror of the adolescent lionhead bunny. Read More